It’s one of those networking events. To my left a conversation is taking place that is obviously going well. Over there a couple of people are positively scribbling drawings furiously on pieces of paper. Behind me is a well-known Entrepreneur complimenting a Start Up company for the excellent work they are doing. And here I am. Standing alone and sticking out like a sore thumb. I can’t think of anything to say to anyone. I am totally useless. Not worth being here. To top it all, it’s only 9 minutes into the event – another hour and 51 minutes to go.
I guess the above situation is not unusual for many – actually, all of us (hopefully). Reading an article by Mark Schaefer about Crushing Self-Doubt it swung windows wide open for me. Moments of feeling that you’re going absolutely nowhere, stuck in a rut or even worse, the feeling of giving up, still pops up after all these years.
In today’s social society is it easy to come across many people that stand out as Influencers, Entrepreneurs and Self Made Millionaires. Start reading their blogs or listening to their podcasts it is obvious why they are who they are. They seem to have the know-how. They have the answers. Therefore, they are at the forefront of their niche. You only need to look at any of their social media feeds and the evidence is there – their careers are just perfect.
PROCEED WITH CAUTION
To make it even worse for you, these amazing people follow you back. They sometimes even like and/or comment on your posts. Even if you’re steadily building up a good bunch of followers it could mean being down and out from time to time.
First and foremost, you have to immediately stop comparing yourself to others. At first glance it will come across that these amazing people are breezing through life. They always look amazing in their live social stories. The words come out of their mouths like water of a ducks back. The truth is that they all, yes, each and every one of them had to start at some point – exactly like you. They have been where you are now. Albeit it be quite a few years ago now, but they really were in the same boat as you right now.
IT HAS A NAME
Ann Handley, a super successful author and business leader, has tackled this topic a few times. Imposter Syndrome is the feeling of being worth nothing, not a penny. Of feeling so bad at what you’re doing that perhaps you should just go home and get back into bed – for ages. She said that it doesn’t matter how good you are at whatever, there is a time and place for Self-Doubt. In Mark’s article Ann highlights how to crush that feeling. She points out that the best way to overcome such feelings is to embrace them.
TACKLE IT HEAD ON
Now, that is what I call taking the bull by the horns and get a good grip. Yes, turn the tables on low self-esteem and negative thoughts. Use such a moment as an opportunity to work through such an issue. In other words, when it strikes don’t let it get to you. As Ann puts it:
- It’s evidence you’re still developing as a person
- It’s evidence you’re not full of yourself
- It’s useful to determine your life path
The difficult part of dealing with inner emotions is usually the unknown. You have no idea what to do about it. So how can someone tell you to do something about it. Well, now it’s a different case, right? You now know two things:
- It’s not uncommon to have low self esteem
- It can easily be overcome
WHAT, HOW & WHEN
To progress and proceed on the path of an Entrepreneur or Successful business owner, one must take up exercise in various formats. There are mainly two areas in which you can develop a stronger You: the physical and the mental.
The first is quite obvious. Get yourself out of bed as early as possible every day and work the body. This does not necessarily mean trotting off to a gym and lift weights until you collapse. There are many ways of working out in the comfort of your own home. It also doesn’t mean you need to spend hours on end doing sit-ups or squats. As long as you can perform some exercises regularly it should do the trick. Head over to YouTube or Google and you will find plenty of examples for the level you’re at. Lesson to learn here is that you should do some physical movement regularly. It will not only do your body good, but your energy levels will shoot up drastically.
Secondly, work the mind. To prohibit Self-Doubt knocking on your door regularly get your headspace in order. Daily confirmations to oneself is the place to start and to continue with. Tell yourself: ‘I can do it. I am terrific’. Personally I live by various mantras however the one that stands out is ‘I can. And I will. Watch me.’ There are many of these sayings on offer. One secret though... when you Say It, Mean It.
Also, grab a book from someone like Brendan Burchard (The Motivation Manifesto), Norman Vincent Peale (The Power of Positive Thinking) etc. and get reading. There are also many blogs out there that will give you inspiration. Brian D Evans and Leonard Kim to mention a couple of my favourites. Reading is to the Mind what Exercise is to the Body.
Most important note is that you do something about bashing those horrible, negative feelings. As said, they will come knocking. They will pop up when you least expect it. Especially when your guard is down – they have a tendency to know that and strike fiercely then.
You are in control of Your Life. No one can do the fighting for you. It’s 100% up to you. And why would you want someone/something to take control of You. Be the Boss. Be Yourself. Live Your Life the way You Want To.
If you can resonate with the above, please feel free to leave a comment and/or share with others. We never know who might right now want some guidance. On the other hand, if it is You that want to reach out for advice, get in touch and let’s talk.