MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU. NOT.

The majority of that headline originates from an iconic movie. However, there is a totally different type of force lurking in all our lives.

The force to be reckoned with many times /quite often, is that of delaying or postponing a task or tasks. In other words, to procrastinate.  Hands up if you know anyone who has fallen prey to this particular act. 

THE WHAT 

Pinpointing the what is most likely the easy part: it is the process of convincing ourselves that doing something else rather than what we are meant to do, is acceptable. Loosely translated: a lack of self-control

Procrastination is not a 21-century phenomena. It can be traced back all the way to the ancient Greeks. In particular philosophers like Socrates and Aristotle were aware of it. They actually called it Akrasia: acting against your better judgement. 

Whether we want to be Greek or modern about it, at the end of the day it’s the same: “it is a force that prevents us from following through on what we set out to do” to quote James Clear from this article of his which is an eye opener. After reading it I was fascinated even more than before by this occurrence. So I felt the need to put pen to paper (so to speak) and delve deeper into such a situation.

THE WHY

When it comes to why us as humans tend to succumb to this force of delaying, there is much more to it than being described as lazy. In actual fact, our life’s control centre, the brain, has the answer. 

The basics are that 2 parts are involved in the action. One being us in the Present and the other being us in the Future. Think of yourself as the Future You which is the person that creates longterm targets to aim for. Then, visualise yourself as the Present You which is the one that needs to take the action.  And to take action is not a future decision, right? It is something you have to do now - and that’s the moment you automatically start an argument (for want of a better word) with the Future You. 

The here and now requires and enjoys immediate results. No need to wonder about tomorrow. So even though you have set a target to complete a task in the near future, if the end result is not instant, the question arises “why do it now then?” We basically over-ride the good intentions of the Future You. 

THE NEXT MOVE

Now that we have a better understanding of what is going on when we put off what we were supposed to do, we need a solution. Some kind of method is required for us to overcome the stress and worry of not actually get going

Let’s face it, we do really want to complete or achieve the task in hand. After all, it will cause great satisfaction and in general we will feel quite proud of ourselves to reach the goal set out by the Future You. My suggestion is a simple, yet very effective recipe to reap the fruits of our labour.

I would like to share 8 steps that personally works for yours truly. They are neither outrageously difficult nor are they impossible. The crux of the matter is that only manageable steps will do the trick - or so I believe. 

  • Book A Time 

    As we make appointments for business meetings, to see a doctor, to attend an event, etc., do the same for your tasks. Literally mark your diary with a block of time to complete what needs to be done. Even set a reminder to notify you when you need to start. 

  • Time Yourself

    Linking this step to the above, set an alarm to go off when you are almost at the end of the allotted time you set out in your diary. The notification will remind you that your should be close to completing the task. 

  • Do it. Now.

    Many times we remind ourselves via a To Do List that something needs to be sorted out. Such a list, on many occasions, gets as long as an arm - which causes even more stress.  If at all possible, start that reminder now and get it over and done with. See it as one less thing to do tomorrow.

  • One At A Time

    The amount of humans in life that can multitask are few and far in between. If you’re one of the lucky ones, good on you. Most of us struggle with the concept leave alone mastering it. Therefore, focus on one thing at a time. 

  • No Diversions

    Distractions are quite possibly procrastination dressed up as a saint. Get rid of anything that will hinder you and make you loose concentration (i.e. mobile devices, etc.). Even if your environment (like working from a coffee shop) causes problems, change it. 

  • It’s Up To You

    It is a good idea to keep your daily (and long term) goals to yourself. Shouting them from the rooftops will trick your brain into believing you’v already accomplished them - hence reducing your motivation to actually work towards them. 

  • Be Aware Of Thieves

    Watch out for your mind as it will play tricks on you.  Many times it may feel much more attractive to quickly put a washing cycle on, do some hoovering or even allow yourself a 5 min break on your sofa. Don’t Fall Into The Trap!

  • Get Pumped

    Not referring to your muscles at this moment in time, but rather to your mind. Seek and inject your brain with uplifting images, positive people and nourishing, healthy foods. You will need energy for both body and mind to keep going. 

CONCLUSION

Of course, as with so many issues in life, battling procrastination is far easier said than done. However, it is honestly not impossible. Apart from the guidance above (which I hope helped you), the ultimate ingredient for bashing any signs of delaying tasks, is a Positive Mindset

As a human you may think or even believe, you haven’t got much going in life, or, even if you do think you have quite a bit going for, there could be a time when your whole being is not entirely happy about anything - leave alone not finishing some tasks. Such moments require strength and determination. Both these ingredients can be obtained by telling yourself Your Are Enough and You Are Worth it. If you focus on a brighter outlook everyday the better you will become about feeling positive in general.

Once you have a strong positivity going on in your mind, the easier it becomes to achieve whatever you want to achieve. And we can only achieve milestones if we set them up for ourselves and we get going and do whatever it takes to reach our targets.

Take a confident first step. Don’t put off those important tasks, conversations or projects any longer. Give doing them an immediate go. The only way to get there in the end is to put your best foot forward. One. Step. At. A. Time.

And lastly, but very importantly, Forgive Yourself. To procrastinate is a common experience. Most will say it’s unavoidable. So don’t beat yourself up over it. Be kind to yourself especially after you've gotten through a bout of delayed tasks. Trust yourself to learn from the experience and do better next time.

As always, please feel free to share, comment or send me a message if you have any questions and/or can relate to this post. 

You can reach me here, or on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook & Instagram

And most of all… Thank You for reading. 

HOW DID YOU DO THIS YEAR?

It’s upon us. Yes, we’re about to wave ta-ta to 2018. 

As we sleigh (!) towards the end of another year, some very important action should be imposed on oneself. This is the time to take stock of our development during the past 12 months. It is also the time to be brutally honest with oneself when assessing the dos and don’ts of the past year. Well, I’m happy to share with you how I did…

WERE MY GOALS REALISTIC?

Setting goals for the immediate 12 months to come is an exercise I categorically do ever year. It actually is a very exciting activity that happens within the first week of the new year. The start of 2018 was no exception. Now with the end in sight it is time to evaluate those milestones.

The overall conclusion is that the goals set out were realistic and probable. In hindsight, to be honest, the odd one was a bit too conservative. Then again, it cancels out the one here and there that was over ambitious. All in all, the general consensus is that my 12-month vision was pragmatic and reasonable

All in all, many more similar goals with a few spanners thrown for next year. 

WERE MY ACTIONS PLAUSIBLE?

Even though ones goals can easily be realistic, the next step in the process is crucial. This is the next move within your path of reaching a goal.  Manoeuvring forward is, can be and most certainly will be, difficult. 

First, and foremost, the question jumping out is… were the limits pushed out all the way? Did you really put shoulder against the wheel and dig your heels in deep? As with every step of reconsolidating your goals, one has to be brutally honest with oneself.

Personally and to the point, the answer is: Yes, but Could’ve Been Better. The pushing was mostly intense, the dedication was there, but there were moments when dealings with goals were way too conservative. Even though I am in general a very positive person, motivation seemed to drift away from time to time. The desire to get back on track needed an efficient amount of energy to get ones’ mojo back. That time spent could’ve been put much more towards chasing and following up on possibilities. 

Lesson learned that focus on time management should be taken far more seriously in the new year. 

WERE MY PROGRESS ACCEPTABLE?

Step 3 within goal setting is the actual physical part of it all. This is where the action really takes place. Milestones is what it is all about. When you pen your vision for the months to come it is very important to add dates of when a goal should be completed. Yes, it’s tough, but without it a goal is only a dream without a plan. 

Luckily, most important goals were hit at the right time due to my action steps being thoroughly in place. One such a step was to sign up a client from the USA which materialised within the timeframe set out.  Hitting the right target moment is incredible. It causes much happiness and drives ones desire to go forth and be more productive. 

I also believe in the saying… trust the timing of your life. This quote is not to be dismissed as being lazy or show a lacklustre attitude.  Some goals did seem to become out of reach throughout the months. However, just as I thought I may not complete those, they were achieved - albeit at a much later stage as originally set out. Best is they came together fairly out of the blue.  So remember… Magic happens when you do not give up, even if you want to. The Universe always falls in love with a Stubborn Heart. 

Let’s remember that Patience is a Virtue. 

WERE MY OUTCOMES SATISFACTORY?

The last section of your yearly, very important exercise, should be the most exciting part. To get to that level of euphoria you need to have been committed to having a fierce mindset. Your mindset must be driven by your desires at the start of penning your goals. Focus is a crucial part of not only getting things done, but being in command of your thought process. 

My outcomes at this stage of the year are both acceptable and surprising. I am happy that the element of surprise raised its head. It often does, so one must not ignore the possibility of the odd thing coming along without any warning. 

The additional (surprising) achievement came in the way of a request to appear as a guest on a well known podcast. This was most certainly not on the cards - and, honestly, I didn’t even thought of it at the start of the year. However, luckily the forces to be dealt me this amazing card. Best of all is that I grabbed the opportunity with both hands and successfully stepped into a brand new world. The reactions of people via social media and in person were fantastic. It didn’t end there though… I am already booked (for mid January 2019) to record another appearance on a different show.

The end result of some goals that was less satisfactory is not the end of the world. I don’t consider I failed my goals because I didn’t travel as much as I wanted to or didn’t do as many courses as I thought I could. The same is to be said for attending local networking events and adding another tattoo to my collection. Saying that, I did however attend courses, webinars and online discussions efficiently. My travel was sufficient and I have met and connected with a few most incredible people that is now firmly part of my community. For not getting the tattoo… well, the closure of my favourite tattoo parlour in Minorca was totally out of my hands. 

A golden rule is to be Prepared for the moment Opportunity knocks. 

CONCLUSION

Drawing a line under one set of goals is great - and opens up the door to set another lot of possible achievements. Looking back and realising that the outlook for the year gone by was on par with ones’ desires is very motivating. And that is where you want to be at the end of a year. Let your motivation for doing even more and even better next year drive you forwards. Precisely what I will be doing within a few weeks. 

Now is also the right time to get the ball rolling for next year. Don’t wait until you hit January to get your ducks in a row for what your goals are going to be. Start your thought process before you hit the Christmas Season (that way you can enjoy the festivities with family, loved ones and friends guilt free). Bullet point your initial thoughts now. Make a start rather sooner than later. And that is exactly where I am now. 

I am taking the lessons I learned from 2018 and applying them to my outlook for 2019. Since I mentioned the issue with motivation, it is obvious that it will be seriously addressed. Time management is another part that I will look at and be far more bold about. One other aspect that I will need to work on is that of being far, far too hard on myself. A certain amount of toughness is desirable, but going over the top with demands on yourself is not good. 

To be realistic was again a good move this year, so more of that to come. Basically, if I could (for example) achieve building relationships as I did this past year, nothing is stopping me from forming even more ones next year. Adding great people to my list of acquaintances will be inspirational to say the least. I will also keep a much more open mind when it comes to surprises. 

I am looking very much forward to 2019. Kicking off a New Year with a Clean Sheet. My mind is already set to achieve a lot, even though I have no idea what the new year will bring. But that’s the beauty of it all. If we knew what was coming our way, life will be quite boring and easy. And who wants that? Most definitely not me and I’m sure You don’t want it either. 

Here’s wishing you an Incredible Festive Season! Have a Very Merry Christmas and take time out and spend it with all the wonderful people in your life. If your loved ones are unfortunately not near, don’t forget to call, text/SMS or even send a card. 

Most of all… Let’s hit 2019 with roller blades on! See you on the other side of December 31.

As always, please feel free to share, comment or send me a message if you have any questions and/or can relate to this post. 

You can reach me here, on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook & Instagram.

And most of all… Thank You for reading. 

WHAT MAKES ONE A GREAT LEADER?

Do You look at someone known as a Leader and wonder what it is that makes them to lead You to work and/or life satisfaction? Are You intrigued by Leaders? Or maybe You believe you show possibilities to Be a Leader. 

The title Leader or holding a Leadership position very often applied to a person who, as the dictionary explains, is ‘the person who leads or commands a group, organisation, or country’ and is to take ‘the action of leading a group of people or an organisation’. Purely going on what this sounds like, it is obviously a very important role.

This brings me to the question, what are Leadership Qualities? Whilst researching this journal post I came across a tweet from someone who is an integral part of my close-knit community: Cherie Aimée. The video she refers to is a MUST SEE (if you haven’t already done so) for all Leaders or those striving to be one. 

THE CRUX OF THE MATTER

Apart form the fact that Scooter Braun is a fascinating individual, his slant on Leadership is phenomenal in the video. It resonated 100% with me. Not for wanting to piggyback on his explanation, the topic is dear to my heart hence this article.

From the 6 Qualities of Leadership about to be discussed here within, the one Scooter Braun is very upfront about is exactly the same one that yours truly would put right at the top of the list: Integrity.

THE IN-DEPTH UNDERSTANDING

To get to grips with exactly what makes a great Leader, we must pinpoint the precise attributes of such a responsibility. Lets take them one by one… 

  • INTEGRITY

    The ultimate distinction here is that others must be able to identify with you as a Leader. Therefore strong values, strong ethics and strong character traits are required.  

  • VISION

The long and short of it is, having the ability to take something small and turn it into something big. Not forgetting to keep all those involved updated as changes occur. 

  • HUMILITY 

The focus is first and foremost on others - Every. Single. Time. Performance feedback is crucial and should be obtained regularly.   

  • SELF AWARENESS

The principal point here is to manage the emotions of others. One can only be successful within this realm by knowing how to manage ones own.

  • COMMITMENT

Having the confidence to face difficulties is such an awesome personality trait. This can be done successfully when the focus is on the journey rather than the destination. 

  • ASSISTANCE

Lend a hand. Offer help. And most of all, be positive in doing so.

THE IMPLEMENTATION  

Now that we know what it takes to be a Leader, the question is: How do I incorporate these 6 points in leading the way? Without hesitation, please let me invite you into my world. 

Integrity - To lie is not for me. Ages ago I learned it is something utterly uncomfortable to do. Even when I know the truth will not go down well. There is no point I even attempt the disclosure of facts I don’t know/believe/understand/etc.. I’d rather be honest, than 2-faced. 

Vision - Visualisation has always been part of my life and my career. The strong believe is to see what you want in order to achieve it. The best way to create the picture is to spend quality time with your own mind and design your future

Humility - By putting the needs of others first, it honestly creates incredible satisfaction in the long run. Not only for others, but me too. By doing so, the outcome is very positive. And guess what? The return on your investment in others comes back tenfold. Win-win situation all round. 

Self Awareness - Emotion is an integrable & inevitable part of life. Personally, I strive to always remove my emotion from business decisions. That said, being aware of how to deal with emotions is much needed when you lead others. Once you have nailed this issue within yourself,  you can comfortably help others with theirs.  

Commitment - To see the whole picture comes easy to myself. Only then walking the path towards the end goal can be enjoyed. And once you enjoy the journey, the destination is a byproduct of your efforts.

Assistance - If the number 1 trait on this list is a personal favourite, then this final trait is the best one! Nothing beats being thankful and grateful for what others do for you. More specifically, how others support you. Throw in a great dollop of generosity and it becomes not very difficult to inject a huge lot of positivity into others’ lives. And that is what makes the difference - in life and work.

THE CONCLUSION

To be great at Leadership one must ultimately be in possession of the above attributes. It speaks for itself. Leaders are people that don’t Tell You what to do. What they do though is Show You how It Is Done. 

Within my Entrepreneurial Life the strive is constantly to help others move forward in a positive manner. Being in a situation where my experiences can be applied to the need of others, cause tremendous satisfaction. It also, time and time again, injects drive to achieve more personally. So all in all it is winning position. My clients and/or students receive fundamental advice and in return it shows me that I am making good use of my knowledge. 

Mentoring forms a crucial part of my business. When I started out I didn’t really thought that it is an avenue to pursue. However, it took only one mentoring assignment to made me see the light. It has turned out to be one of the most fulfilling parts of my business. Guiding others and showing them how they should proceed in what they want out of business (and life) is great. To stand back and see the great outcome when someone takes on board your advice is beyond thrilling. Pardon me for sounding over excited, but once you have been in a similar situation you will understand where I am coming from.

Leadership is a vital part of not only ones success, but also those of others. Take some inventory of your own knowledge, experiences and work ethics. If you feel that you can relate to the 6 qualities mentioned above, then go forth and be The Leader You are Meant To Be. 

As always, please feel free to share, comment or send me a message if you have any questions and/or can relate to this post. 

You can reach me here, on LinkedIn, Twitter or Facebook.

And most of all… Thank You for reading. 

WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS?

What do you excel at? No matter the environment you find yourself in, there is a big possibility that you have very strong attributes, but do you have the opportunity to put them to actual good use every day?

From our everyday walk through life, we can most likely name a couple of things that we know we are good at. And vice versa. However, have you ever wondered why you can do certain things better than others?

Perhaps you are one of many who has been going along everyday performing your duties without thinking about it much. Maybe the time is right for you to find out exactly the who and what about yourself.

WHY YOU SHOULD KNOW YOUR TALENTS

There is a very good chance that you do not get to use your natural talents to its best on a daily basis. Mostly, we use our time and abilities to fix our faults rather than developing that what we are good at.

If you are in position to apply your talents to your best every day, then you are extremely lucky. Most people will state that they don’t have such an opportunity and therefore don’t engage much with their work and life in general.

Those that do focus on their strengths are 6 times more likely to enjoy the work positions they hold at work. They are also 3 times more likely to have a great life.

With those statistics in mind, the most obvious question is: what do I do to figure out what my strengths are? 

WHERE TO FIGURE OUT YOUR STRENGTHS

A few years back, whilst still in permanent employment, I was lucky to be introduced to a system called Strengths Finder 2.0

It is an online assessment programme that was originally created in 1998. Then, in 2004, Tom Rath & Gallup scientists updated their first version (which had the help of Donald O. Clifton PH.D.) hence it being called 2.0 now. 

The programme is not FOC, however for a mere £17 / $20 from Amazon, it will be a tiny price to pay for what you will learn. Your knowledge after the assessment can easily be put to use in some form so that you get back far more than what you forked out originally.

In case you’re thinking that you will have to spend ages completing the evaluation, rest assure – it will only take about 30 minutes of your time. In the end you will find areas where you can develop your strengths.

WHAT IS THERE TO LEARN

The outcome will be 5 Themes where you have the greatest potential to develop your strengths. You will find Ideas for Action and Tips on How To Collaborate with others.

I was pleasantly surprised by what I learned from this exercise. To say it was an eye opener, is an understatement. It clearly defined to me my strong points in being the human I am. Here are my 5 Top Strengths:

  • Achiever

  • Consistency

  • Deliberative

  • Discipline

  • Relator

To give you a better insight, let’s break them down 1 by 1:

As an ACHIEVER there is the constant need for achievement. Every day (all days, not only working days) starts at zero and by the end of the day I must’ve achieved something tangible in order to feel good about myself.

Having balance, to me, in life is vital to living. The believe is that we function best in an environment that is CONSISTENT, i.e. where everyone knows what to expect. I therefore create a place where each person has an even chance to show his or her worth.

Personally, being careful, vigilant and private are daily functions. Living in an unpredictable world, it is important to identify, assess and reduced risks. Planning ahead is everything. I figure out dangers, weight up their relative impact and then place my feet DELIBERATELY firmly on the ground.

A world that is ordered and planned is heaven to me, thus, instinctively I impose structure and set up routines. Via this assessment one learned that not everybody agrees on the front of being DISCIPLINED. Everyone has their own way of getting things done. However, most people (luckily!) realises that I behave in this way only to maintain my progress and productivity.

Even though it is uplifting to meet new people, the greatest pleasure is in being with familiar faces. As a REALTOR one cherishes how people operates in their everyday existence. Relationships to me have value only if it is genuine - even if it means there’s a risk of being taken advantage of. A risk I am willing to accept. 

CONCLUSION

If you feel your life in a work environment or even within relationships are not going as smooth as you would like it, take this assessment. If you don’t really have the money to spend on it, save up or even borrow it. There is a huge possibility that the outcome will have a profound effect on your life. That in itself is surely worth doing it.

It was the best 30 minutes I spend online ever. The fact that so many pieces of the puzzle I call Life slotted in together was amazing. When I mentioned earlier that it was an eye opener, I honestly meant it. So many situations I went through or issues I stumbled across, made perfect sense all of a sudden. I don’t carry any regrets, however, if I have to point out one thing in life that I’m not too happy about is the fact that I didn't take the assessment much earlier on in my life. I am sure it would’ve saved me a lot disappointment, anger and pain.

We are granted only one life. Many times, we get only the one chance at something or someone. We need to grab those moments with both hands and make the most of it. Like I said, I am not a person who favours regrets, hence I suggest instead of one day looking back at what could’ve been, do something now to prevent looking back in disappointment.

Feel free to share, comment or send me a message if you can relate to this post. As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach me here, on LinkedIn, Twitter or Facebook.

And Thank You for reading.

DEVELOP AN EXISTENCE OF GRATITUDE

How has your day been so far? Better still, are you having a great week?

Our lives are so occupied with being here, there and everywhere that we often forget the things that make our lives special. Now many of you may immediately tell me off for assuming you are well since I do not know you personally. So how dare I say your life is special. Well, this is my point: if you just take a few minutes every day to remind yourself of the good & great in your life, Your Life Will Be Special.

This doesn’t mean that life will never be tough, harsh and many times be very frustrating. Not to mention how disappointing it can be on many levels. Life, however, can be much, much better if we let it be.

ORIGIN OF RECOGNITION

Many years ago, when I was still a youngster, a friend’s dad actually mentioned the following to me: ‘I was complaining that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet'. At the time, I did not know it is a very well-known quote from Confucius.

I vaguely remember that I was upset about not having enough money or something hence he uttered those words to me. It stopped me in my tracks (so to speak). To be very honest with you, it had the most profound effect on me. I will not ever forget that moment in time.

RAMIFICATIONS IT CAUSED

To classify myself as a positive person is an understatement. Therefore, in times like the last few days it is vital to stand by the believes I have.

There has been many (truly lost count) of moments in life that it feels everything is going pear-shaped. For example, during my career within full-time occupation quite a few job applications were filled in and interviews attended.  Time after time there either has been no reply or a ‘thanks, but no thanks’ outcome. Such moments caused me to feel unwanted and disillusioned.

However, after the a-ha moment from the Confucius quote, the trend is to flip such emotions on its head and focus on the complete opposite side of the coin. Look properly and you will see the positive within the negative. It’s here where the fundamentals of the Yin Yang theory come into place. There is most certainly a bit of good in every, single part of the bad.

No surprise then that on the inside of my left foot, right underneath my ankle is a tattoo of a Yin Yang. My first tattoo and one I had for over 30 years.

DAILY IMPLEMENTATION REQUIRED

To be clear, let us look at the precise explanation of the Yin Yang Chinese philosophy, Taoism:  Two halves that together complete wholeness. Yin and Yang are also the starting point for change.

There, plain and simple and very effective. The last few words of the second sentence says it all… starting point of change.

Within our daily walk through life we are constantly bombarded with situations that has no pleasant effect on us. Perhaps this is in the form of confrontations with people, the difficulty of tasks, fulfilling requests, completing errands, etc. – the list is endless. Naturally it can cause humans to feel down in the dumps and not very happy at all. We are, after all, only human.

The secret, if you permit me calling it that, is hopefully quite obvious (if you’re still reading this article) by now: Flip. The. Coin. Stop in your tracks (!) and look at the situation as clear as you possibly can and start making a change. Ask yourself: ‘Is this moment in time as tough and hard as I make it for myself?’ At the top of your head you most likely will go ‘Hell yeah, it is!’, but what if you control your emotions just a bit better and re-visit the situation?

The only way to find out is for you to give it a go. Most importantly:

  • do this every, single day

  • keep practising it

  • keep giving it a go

  • don’t lose faith within Yourself

  • don't lose faith within Your abilities

This maybe a cliché, but if this man (me, who else), who started life many years ago in a small, conservative town in a country far away from where I am today, can do it, So Can You.

The bottom line is, there is a reason why obstacles are thrown at us constantly: for us to figure out what it is, look at it from a different perspective and find a solution to solve the issue. Sounds complicated, right? Not if you know what to do and how to handle it.

CONCLUSION

It is here where Gratitude enters my daily life. Easily a million times a day the words ‘thank you’ utters my mouth/are fabricated in my mind. It can be for overcoming a massive brick wall or a tiny hump in the way. It many times are for a small action like remembering to make that call or being able to quickly fixing a loose screw. Practising this form of positivity on a regular basis has developed my strong Attitude of Gratitude. It enhances my self-belief and outlook on life.

All we need to do is look around us, listen to the latest news broadcasts, read the newspaper or surf the web to realise how many people are out there that haven’t got nearly what we have. It honestly doesn’t matter what your current circumstances are. Just take a moment and look around you. There is no need for me to tell you what you will see. What I can tell you is that with the attitude of gratitude, very shortly thereafter you will realise that what you are going through is nothing in comparison to so many others around the world. The only thing I ask you to do is to realise what YOU have. Don’t focus on what you don’t have, but pick the small bit of lightness within the Yin-moment (negative/dark) and focus on that. I am sure it will turn into a much more appreciative feeling than anything else.

One last thing to remember… You. Can. Do. It.

Feel free to share, comment or send me a message if you can relate to this post. As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach me here, on LinkedIn, Twitter or Facebook.

And Thank You for reading!

SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE

Here’s a question for you: in society, what is considered the first sign of madness? Don’t think too much about it, just say out loud what first comes to your mind. How I wish I could’ve heard your answer. Actually, the fact that You Answered Out Loud is enough.

Scientists have studied the phenomenon of talking to yourself for ages. In the best parts of our society it is believed that this is the first sign of madness. That in itself shouts negativity. The one who utters such a phrase to someone is immediately suggesting the person spoken to has a mental issue.

Luckily it has been proven over and over again that Talking To Yourself makes You Smarter. Reading a post from Grant Cardone on cnbc.com highlights the smartness of having a conversation with yourself. As a NY Times Best Selling Author, recognized International Sales Training Expert and a motivational Speaker on finance, sales and business, Grant mentions 3 ways how Self Talk can improve You, Your Life and Your Success.

PERSONAL POV

This confirmation from such an Influencer was great news. For many a year (and still going strong) Self Talk has been a part of my life. Within moments of solitude a lot are accomplished - like next steps to a goal or even issues are put right. The thinking process resolves around exactly the 3 points highlighted in the CNBC post:

  • Your Thoughts
  • Your Words
  • Your Actions

ABOLISH NEGATIVITY

To enrich your self-esteem, be more productive and build better relationships, one needs the right approach to life – aka Attitude. You can achieve this by simply focus on Positive Thoughts. It is so easy to get drowned by negative thoughts. However, it is not only much easier but far more satisfying when you concentrate on being Positive.

To actively change your mindset to a more uplifting, positive frame, can take time for some. Perhaps it is not your norm for various reasons. In such a case it is particularly necessary to make a definite change in your thought process. Practise, practise and more practise until you see results. Because at the end of the day, You Will See Results for The Better.

UPGRADE YOUR LANGUAGE

So you are making progress because you have started to change your way of thinking. No stopping now, so let’s proceed to the next step.

For people in general it is easy to speak or talk. Words come and flow easily. In a lot of cases this is where there could be an issue. At the end of the day it depends what you say that will make a massive impact on your Self Talk.

The theme of negativity continues… Verbalising negative words will have an impact on your thoughts. So think about it, if you have just started to overcome thoughts that will not uplift you, then why break that process by speaking with a negative tongue? So, change your vocabulary and use words or phrases that are optimistic.

KEEP BUSY

To complete an exercise of Self Talk, be active. Not much is achieved by slumping and vegetating. Being non-active breeds negativity which in turn leads to low energy levels which produce an unhealthy outcome. If you have been working on the first two steps by now, Don’t Stop Here.

Being active can takes many forms - from physical exercise (in any shape and form) to actually generating tasks. Even completing small, mundane tasks can lift your spirits to another level. I am sure in your life there are things like paying bills, making calls or checking something that you feel is boring or tedious. However, once you completed such tasks you will experience a boost in your attitude. Therefore, tell Yourself to Get Up and Get Going. Better still (a typical saying to myself), lets Tick That Box.

CONCLUSION

Many years ago when I was a young child and whilst playing on my own, an adult asked me: “Why are you talking to yourself? Haven’t you got any friends to play and talk to?” At the time it didn’t make such a bad impression, however over the years thereafter it had an immense influence on me and my self-esteem. Those questions made me to believe that I was crazy. Before I know it, I had a very low estimate of myself. I believed I cannot achieve much as a crazy person. The stigma stuck and caused a lot of anger and pain when it comes to relationships and success. It took time, patience and perseverance to better myself.

Thank god I made the effort to change. I set out to change the way I think and continue to talk to myself. For many years now I am a very positive person. Even within the most awful situations, I can find the positive side. It is also much easier to be positive in life than negative. The outcome is uplifting and encouraging to move on and be better today than yesterday.

If there is one thing in the world I would recommend to anyone then it is to change your attitude towards yourself, your life and your future. It has, it will and it does bring success. No matter what others say about you, they cannot take away your stern believe in You Being You.

Feel free to share, comment or send me a message if you can relate to his read. As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach me here, on LinkedIn, Twitter or Facebook

 

BROADENING YOUR SKILLS

How do you feel about gaining new information? Is it an exciting prospect? The ability to extend your knowledge of a subject can be daunting, however if you approach it with the right mindset you can walk away feeling very satisfied. 

For me the words of Vincent van Gogh sums it up beautifully:

Learning, or educating myself, has always given me a great sense of achievement. 

THE URGE TO KNOW

When the decision was made to startup on my own, there were quite a few elements that I knew too little about. One way to obtain that information was to sign up to a course or three and let others be a guide. Nothing wrong with that. However, to seek out the information on your own accord somehow always is so much more fulfilling. Therefore I tackled the proverbial bull by the horns and educated myself in the areas I lacked knowledge in. 

THE LEARNING CURVE

With the worldwide web at our finger tips nowadays it is much easier than years ago to get hold of answers to all our questions. It takes some research, but persevere and one will find what one is looking for. What could, or most likely will happen, is that you will find bits here, there and everywhere. The fun part (to put it mildly) is to then put it together like a puzzle. First, one finds the pieces with a straight edge and/or the corner pieces and before you know it the border (or outline) is all in place. To follow is to fill in the middle section and voila! your picture is complete. All pieces slotted in and you’re sitting back looking at a complete visual. In other words, you have conquered the assignment of learning how to perform a certain task within your business.

THE IMPLEMENTATION

Once the know how is firmly in your head, it is time to put your new found knowledge into action. Best bit of advice at this stage is to get going immediately since the information is still very fresh. Practice, practice and then some more practice. Repetition is known to cement actions within us. Once you leave the new facts and skills at the door the inevitable is sure to happen - when you return to put it all to work, most will be a haze and you will need to start again to remind yourself.  

THE CONCLUSION

To study or learn on your own takes a lot of effort and determination. You need to be proactive and resilient at all times. For me it works. Currently there is a new venture on the cards and instead of signing up to expensive courses how to achieve this I am taking matters in my own hands. Yes, I do attend webinars, seminars and talks to get some guidance, but at the end of the day it’s up to me. Some will call it the hard way. Others won’t understand why the narrow, steep road is more attractive. 

Each to their own I say. It is not a matter of making it unnecessarily difficult for oneself, it is much more about achieving something where there was originally no knowledge of in my head. As a strong believer in one can do whatever you put your mind to, it’s obvious this is the preferred route for me. That moment you reach the end of the rainbow and find your pot of gold is priceless. To sit back and look at the finished task you did with the complete new set of tools in your head, is beyond satisfying. Once you experienced that feeling, I bet you will want it again and again. Believe me the feeling is that wonderful. 

If you felt some affinity towards this topic please comment and share your thoughts. If you’re in need of mentoring about educating yourself get in touch and lets talk.

 

PUT YOUR BEST FOOT FORWARD

To quote writer JK Rowling… ‘A Good First Impression can Work Wonders’. 

That says it all. Have you ever wondered why a networking event wasn’t as successful as you anticipated it will be? Perhaps a meeting didn’t work out as well as you wanted it to? These questions and many more related to the outcome can be directly associated with You presenting Yourself to Your audience. 

As a great believer in the importance of looking after numero uno (You!) in one’s life, the article http://bit.ly/Great1stImpression by Rhydian Fairfax echoes my sentiments exactly. If you do not like and love yourself, how is it possible that others will show you such empathy. The 4 techniques Rhydian highlights on how you can better yourself so your audience can experience the real, authentic you are: 

  • Elevator Pitch
  • Speak for Yourself
  • Treat Everyone like the Gatekeeper to Your Destiny
  • Body Language and Attitude

With these in mind let’s take a closer look and find a way to implement them in your life.

YOUR 30 SECONDS

Make time to sit down and write down who you are and what your business is all about. Once you are happy with the content, edit it to around 30 seconds in total. Not much shorter and most certainly not much longer. This important speech should become your verbal business card - in other words the next step after any initial business introduction. Within this short period of time any new person you meet will be able to get a good understanding of you.  Therefore it is very important to be short, sharp and to the point. No mucking about.

YOUR VOICE

Most introductions to other people in life are via someone else. Thanks heavens for that though. Just take note that it’s not up to that person to tell others about you. Take control immediately and let your own words do the talking. Others may think they know you well, but at the end of the day you are the best megaphone for yourself.  At this point your new acquaintance will be able to sense who is the boss - and it is (and should be) you. 

YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND

Don’t ever brush a new person aside for whatever reason. We never know how they and their minds work. It also isn’t fair on that person if you make assumptions and then decide to walk away without any rhyme or reason. For all you know this person could be exactly what your business needs. Give them the benefit of the doubt. What if they are at that point in time where they need someone like you to propel their business to the next level? Just imagine how disappointing it will be if a few weeks later you hear that they hired a competitor of yours (which they also met at the same event you met each other) only because you never ended up having a proper conversation with them - but your competitor did. A few minutes of conversing won’t kill you. In any case, that’s why you’re there, right?

YOUR IMAGE

You are what you wear. We hear that a lot - and it’s very true. The way you look and feel when you meet people for the first time is utterly important. Of course your environment counts so be sure to do a bit of research if you are going to attend a meeting with clients from a genre you’re not au fait with. Looking your best says a lot about yourself. Taking care of yourself will give you confidence and that in turn will make someone remembers you. Stand, walk and talk with authority. After all you are part of your business so the selling of your business includes yourself. You have put in a lot of hard work to get where you are now so Be Proud Of Yourself

CONCLUSION

I am fully aware it is not always as easy as it sounds. Still, to this day, events like networking is not a preferred favourite of mine. Meeting new people can still be daunting. Luckily I am much better at it now than years ago. My elevator pitch is engraved on my mind. I have always taken care of how I look so that (fortunately) comes natural to me. However, when I started out the points above were tough. It was actually very hard work, but I learned that in the end it pays off. 

However daunting it may sound to you right now, remember that It Is Possible to accomplish this. Many, many people have adopted these rules and are very victorious today. All of us have to start somewhere. So go on, take action and Make That First Impression Lasts

As always, get in touch to share your experiences and/or thoughts. Maybe, just maybe, together we can help someone today. On the other hand, simply just ask if help is what you need right now.