STOP. BEING NEGATIVE IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU.

What are you thinking right now? Is it what this post will be all about or something more personal? Whatever your answer, thinking is what we do. All the time. 

The important factor is not that we think, but how we think. Very often one finds oneself in a more negative state of thinking than a positive one. Self-defeating thoughts can cause havoc in ones life. So, can we do something about it? And if we can, what or better still, how can we be more positive.

DISTORTED THOUGHTS

Ever heard the saying you are what you eat? Well, the same goes for …what you think. That is definitely true. We tend to believe that what goes on in our minds are the truth. In general many of us sway towards the negative issues and not the positive ones. It’s utterly and completely normal. 

However, such thoughts easily can be fake. So, to put it into relevant context, we believe in Fake News. Shocking revelation, if you ask me.  You may right now sit up and think (!) 'what the hell? How dare he says I believe in fake news!' If you focus on your distorted thoughts then you do trust and believe in such news. 

GET INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD

General distorted thoughts are called cognitive distortions and are categorised into 3 groups:

  • Filtering

  • Polarized Thinking

  • Overgeneralizing

Each of these 3 convinces us that what we are thinking, at a specific moment, is the truth. However, they are inaccurate and reinforce our mind to think in a negative manner spurred on by negative emotions. 

Don’t feel disappointed right now. Trust me, all is not lost - You can Be Your Own Best Friend.

MAKE A START NOW

To achieve having power over our thought process, we need to start deconstruct our mind. We don’t only need to get control back, we need to be in control all the time.

Let’s take each distortion group one by one.

1. Filtering

Firstly, what is filtering? I am sure that within seconds of me giving you a rundown of it, you will recognise it. 

Have you ever been complimented on a handful of things you were great at? Perhaps in work, by your partner or family member? They praised you for being amazing and then this happens: ‘Pity you didn’t master that so well. Maybe you should  take time out and learn more about it’. Boom. All hell breaks loose in your head. Gone are the heap of things you're good at. They vanished in nano seconds. All that’s left is how bad/horrible/etc. you were at the one thing they told you to learn more about. There you have it: you filtered out all the positives and now only focus on the negative. 

To alter this thought process the focus should stay on your strengths - the things you did well. In return, the one thing you didn’t do that well will improve. The more you use words to emphasise your compliments, the more you will build yourself up. As they say, words matter, so use them well. 

2. Polarized Thinking

Secondly, what do we do when we polarize something? We divide it into two halves - i.e. black & white or right & wrong. 

Basically, we tend to focus only on the utmost opposites. There are no middle ground as far as we are concerned. No grey area at all. We believe we either do something fully or don’t do it at all. Let's say you tried your hand at something new, i.e. a craft - it didn’t work out so you immediately believe you failed and you will never be able to do it. 

To be successful we need to focus on progress and gratitude - not perfection. Reminding yourself consistently of your winnings in life and work will have a far better influence over yourself. It will also give you the incentive to continue striving towards your goals. 

3. Overgeneralization

Lastly, what happens when we overgeneralize situations? We apply one negative result to all other similar instances. 

If a certain activity or experiment disappointed us, all others likewise will disappoint too, we believe. Therefore we don’t attempt it ever again.

When this happens we need to zoom in onto the fact that one bad moment doesn’t apply to every other one out there. Note that one bad egg doesn’t spoil the whole dozen. We need to get back on track and try again. There is a big possibility that if you attack something similar by leaving the bad experience behind and progress with a positive attitude, the outcome will be far more rewarding. You will most likely succeed and start to enjoy whatever it is you’re giving a second chance.

CONCLUSION

Watch out for What You Think. The secret is to investigate your thoughts before you make a decision about it. Best way to accomplish this is to: 

  • analyse into which group that thought falls

  • figure out why you are thinking in a certain way

  • then focus on the positive side of the situation

This way of managing our thought process should become part and parcel of our natural thinking behaviour. If you Think Positive, you will Be Positive. And guess what? If you think negative, you will end up being negative. Fact!

Tackle the Fake News in your head and banish it. Now and Forever. Don’t take any BS from yourself from now on.

Feel free to share, comment or send me a message if you can relate to this post. As always, if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach me here, on LinkedIn, Twitter or Facebook.

And Thank You for reading.

SHOW YOUR TRUE COLOURS

Take a look around you - what do you see? Well, a multiple of objects I reckon. Most importantly, even without taking much notice, you see colours. An abundance of them everywhere. 

How do you go about choosing which colours to use for your business? Do you settle on some because they are your favourites? Or because someone suggested particular ones since you always wear it or it forms part of your home decorations? The important fact here is to take note that there are much more than colours than only liking them.

EMOTION

It’s long been know that certain colours evoke certain emotions within us. When we do find ourselves in surroundings that is predominantly one colour we do feel somehow different. We may not realise it there and then, but when you leave that place a certain emotion could easily hang around and influence you - or rather your subconscious. From spending time being surrounded by i.e. the colour orange, you could easily walk away feeling happy and cheerful. 

REACTION

There are also times that you wear a specific colour and feel that others around you treat you slightly different this time. Even though it is your trusted circle of friends/family, there is a notion within you that something is slightly different today. Similarly when you attend a function or event - perhaps all the officials at the event are wearing red shirts. From the moment you entered the room and was greeted by someone in red, you seem to have energy and being excited (more than expected) to attend. As you are confronted by a sea of red your energy level rises to an extend that you walk away praising the event and even promise to return next year. 

FAMILIARITY

You do have a favourite colour, don’t you? So why is it your favourite? Purely because since childhood/teenage years your bedroom walls were covered in it? Could it be that the specific colour evoke the feeling of comfort and ease? Quite possibly because you can relate to it. Even if you are quite a few years older by now you may still feel affinity towards your childhood favourite albeit the tone has changed a lot since you’re more grown up by now. Still, the basic colour is the same though. I bet my 13 year old god daughter will still have a passion for reddish colours years from now. It will remind her of exciting times spend in her red bedroom as a child.

YOUR BUSINESS - YOUR MESSAGE

When it comes to business the above mentioned topics should be your guideline in how you want to be portrait by customers and clients alike. Hence the reason it is very important to think clearly and objectively about which colours to use in your profession. Colours will say a lot about not only your business etiquette, but also the identity of your brand. 

Be very clever in making this choice. Have a good understanding of your brand before you start the process of creating a logo or adding colour to your font/typeface. You need to figure out what emotion you want to wake up in potential customers. Make sure you know how you want your clients to react when they enter your showroom/saw your logo. Very importantly you need to research your audience/market and make them feel comfortable when dealing with your service or using your product. 

At the end of the day the colours you decide on should create a feeling within potential customers and clients that make them notice your business. To stand out from a crowd nowadays is not an easy task, but you need to push hard so that you do get noticed. Link your tagline to the subconscious signals your colours send to clients. Bring it all together and form a strong bond with those that you want to attract to your business. And one of the best ways to do this is to pick 2 or 3 emotions from the colour emotion chart above that represent your business attitude and I’m sure you’ll be well on your way to attract the correct crowd.